I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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