drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize