so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
