Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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