this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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