Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
