i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
