Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
