At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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