so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
