We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
