Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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