I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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