I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
