You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
two words: eviction party
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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