just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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