bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
