Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
