im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
