Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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