butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
