Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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