I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
