you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
