Whats the glycemic index on semen?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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