Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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