How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
