She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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