I'm pants shitting drunk right now
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
