dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
