watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Enjoy the penises
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
