Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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