sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
