Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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