it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
