I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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