is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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