so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize