So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No subtext here. People are naked.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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