How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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