If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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