True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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