Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
