You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
