it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
