"it" just moved
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
