your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize