Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
