ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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