i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
