i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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