so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
