i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
