Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
