I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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