Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
