I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
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