I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
ugly people sure do ruin things
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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