You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize