I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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